Today is my birthday. I am now 37 years old. Older son and I are making a cake later, and I’m excited about it. I have the day planned out in a way I wouldn’t have before the pandemic, full of mini-celebrations but not a huge party or anything. I mean, 37 isn’t that exciting. I’ll go big for 40. You’re invited. 

(Oh yeah – hey, back from a break, needed time to think yadda yadda.)

I’m really interested in having one of those though – a truly original thought. I don’t even know if I can. My world is entrenched in the everyday: kids, work, exercise, meals, bedtimes, playtime, etc. I don’t take mind-altering drugs. The main thing I’m looking forward to is remodeling our kitchen. What can I even think of that’s new? This is seeming like a pretty bleak picture of suburban mom-hood. It’s not bad. I’m making it sound bleak for effect (added for Dad). The part about the kitchen is true though.

We’re all these unique individuals, capable of deep conversation and thought, but many of us are – honestly I suppose I can only speak for myself, so it might just be me – caught up in the day-to-day qualities of life, so original thought is really difficult. 

Over the past few years, ESPECIALLY during lockdown and so on, it seems like there’s been a lot of emphasis on the present moment, on being present. Maybe it has accompanied the rise of smartphones and social media in our pockets, so people feel the need to be intentional about their own presence. I agree with this need to be present to an extent, but I also think we need a safe and positive way to escape. I’m tired of my own presence for the moment. I need to be mentally somewhere else. The multitudes within me need to feel unfettered by their current confines. I’d also like people to stop telling me what to do with my own free time. 

Essentially, I’m hoping to put out into the internetiverse my intention to not judge other people for doing whatever they want as long as it doesn’t affect my ability to do whatever I want. There are lots of habits or lifestyles I don’t have the willpower or urge to undertake that work really well for a lot of people. I’m going to keep eating the way I eat and exercising the way I exercise and drinking the coffee I drink, just for some examples, because these are things that work really well for me. But I don’t hold any judgment towards you for your choices, and I hope you might do the same for me. 

Like what you like without worrying about what other people like. I’m going to try to do the same. This is basically about confidence in our own choices. I think this is why some people get really defensive about the choices they make because they’re defending the choices to themselves as much as they are to others who might question them. I don’t care if you don’t like music/movies/type of home/lifestyle/ice cream flavors I like. I still like them. For example, most of the time, I’m confident I’m a good mom. Sometimes, my confidence in myself falters when I have less patience than I feel I should, and that’s what I feel judged by others because I’m judging myself. I’m also potentially going to let one son watch tv while the other one plays with my phone so I have a few minutes to think and breathe without facilitating life for others. That’s how I intend to bring back my capacity for original thoughts.

To sum up: you like what you like, I’ll like what I like, don’t tell me what to do, and I sometimes need some time to myself in order to have anything original worth sharing. These are the main lessons I’ve learned in my interactions with social media. Happy birthday to me!