I’m on a constant quest to be less judgmental. I am often failing on that quest, so don’t let yourself think too highly of me. Basically, my goal is specifically to not be judgmental of other parents or their kids, or of women in general. I still judge men most of the time. Little by little, I’ll work on that too, I guess. 

Judging parents just sucks though. Parenting is hard, and kids aren’t rational. Tantrums usually aren’t anyone’s fault, kid or parent. They’re weird brain farts that kids eventually grow out of, most of the time. Plus there are thousands of things parents, especially moms, get judged or blamed for regularly. Breastfeeding is a big one. Napping and sleep stuff is another topic that gets judged. The list is very long. Come on, world. Leave moms alone. 

Having my younger son go through this cancer treatment which is causing unexpected physical and behavioral issues, I’ve become aware of some other areas of judgment I didn’t realize I was holding on to. Little man was completely acting like a baby again. He couldn’t walk, like physically lost the ability, so I carried him a lot or he was in a stroller. He was overweight because of the steroids. He also reverted back to using a pacifier almost all the time for a while. I know I have seen and judged other parents for having kids in exactly all of these same situations, but now I’m especially aware of how wrong I was to judge. I have no idea what was going on in those families. 

If you saw me with our sweet littler boy in late April, you might’ve just judged me as an overly indulgent parent who let her son get away with anything. You’d have been right because we let him have chips for breakfast and cookies all day, but the context matters. There’s no time for context assessment in a snap judgment, and trying to avoid these snap judgments is really difficult. But like we tell our boys, hard things are usually more worth the effort than easy ones.