Well, here we are, in the land of no bodily autonomy for half of the population. Rights have been taken away, and those who enacted this travesty are hiding behind the constitution to justify it. But those rights are supposed to belong to women, which means they don’t count as much. 

In 2017, I had a miscarriage. I’ve written about it here in the past. We wanted that baby very badly, but the pregnancy was difficult from the start, so when she didn’t have a heartbeat anymore at our 16-week appointment, we were crushed but not shocked. I say again, there was no heartbeat, so baby girl was gone. I was given the choice to either let the fetus pass in the next few days at home, or I could have a d&c, dilation & curettage, to remove the tissue surgically. It wasn’t much of a choice. I could either push out a dead fetus at home on my own and then have to collect it and send it in for testing myself. Or professionals I trusted could take the fetus while I was sleeping and also add the benefit of making sure nothing else was wrong in there. Then they would send the tissue away for testing, and I wouldn’t have to be retraumatized by the whole process. 

In some states, a d&c will now be considered an illegal procedure, and on top of that, I would become a suspect. Instead of the kindness and understanding I received from the medical professionals around me who understood how devastated I was by this loss, I would have to endure questions and suspicion about the end of this tiny life, somehow suggesting that this was my fault when I would’ve done anything to bring that life into the world. 

When I see callous men flippantly saying abortion rights aren’t about healthcare and nothing will convince them otherwise, I have to wonder what the women in their lives say to them. Or worse, how afraid the women in their lives are of them that these dudes could shout that ignorant gibberish on the internet and none of those women are willing to correct them. I do not blame the women. There is so much fear and misinformation based on fear surrounding this topic. 

I’m happy to have been raised in this country and have a good life. By and large, this federal government and my local governments represent and protect me. This isn’t true of everyone in this country – people of minorities, people of the LGBTQ+ community, or increasingly anyone holding a religious belief that isn’t Christian. But I, a white, straight, cis-gendered person have lived in privilege for a long time, so how dare I be outraged now that it affects me personally? I think it is a good question but also a key to actually making a change. I do feel outrage at the racial inequities and hardships faced by people of different sexual orientations, but personal connection leads to action. Until the men (and one woman on the court) are convinced of personal connection to this problem of all women in this country having their bodily autonomy called into question, it’s going to continue. It’s going to get worse. Lifesaving healthcare will become less and less accessible to the masses and only available to senators’ mistresses. That seems to be where we’re headed. 

Clearly I don’t have a solution, but if you’re a man and have a wife or sister or mother or friend who is a woman, if there is any woman in your life that you love, please find yourself feeling a personal connection and vote accordingly.