I write this while hiding in my room. 

I just need a minute. I need to catch my breath, to not be needed, just for a minute. 

I need to feel without being seen. 

I feel so overwhelmed sometimes. It’s all so much. Everyone is understanding and kind, but no one else has to DO it. We’re IN THIS. I’m in this… 

My fuse is short, and my actions don’t line up with my feelings. I WANT to spend time with boys, but I NEED time to recharge, and if there’s only 1 hour available, I either neglect them or give them the worst version of myself. What is less hurtful to them? Or can I just suck it up for an hour here and stop being so snappy? They just want their mom. 

I’m tired.