This lovely trait of motherhood is a blessing and a curse. The curse aspects are clear: I just forget stuff all the time. I leave the house without my wallet or phone occasionally. I forget what I’m trying to say mid-sentence. I can’t remember the last time I finished telling a story. It’s partially because I am constantly interrupted by my children. To finish a sentence, I’d have to shout over a 4-year-old, and it just isn’t worth it. Also, I’m just really tired right now. For the past 4.5 years.

There are some real benefits to the forgetfulness though, things I didn’t understand until after having a second baby. I had forgotten childbirth after I did it the first time. I had forgotten newborn nights, the endless days, the innumerable weeks between full nights of sleep. I would ask my mom for advice when my first son was first born, and she didn’t remember anything about my first weeks of life. In the beginning, I was like, how could she not remember this? It is terrible! Also why would anyone have another child?! And then, I too forgot. 

I’m going to venture into the realm of cliche again. However, it’s worth thinking about for yourself: I’m not sure if it’s forgetfulness as much as a change in perspective of how little it matters in the long run. It just doesn’t matter to me anymore that childbirth was painful. It doesn’t matter that the long nights of being woken up 4 times really sucked, although I am somewhat grateful to not have to go through that again right now. 

We’ve moved on from that point in life, and we had those challenges back then, but I certainly don’t regret going through them, just as I don’t regret the challenges we went through with the terrible twos and throw-down threes (I might’ve just made that up). Those stages are still ahead of us with our younger boy, and if his bulldog style as an infant is any indication, it’s going to be a doozy. 

The point of this is, it might not be forgetfulness as much as it is keeping an eye ahead rather than dwelling on the past. I’m trying to put some things down in words to share with other moms because sharing experiences makes them more meaningful sometimes, but in a vacuum, if it wasn’t for this desire to help other moms, especially future moms, I would forget it all and just think about the next thing: kindergarten, grade school, crushes, sports, victory and failure, and so on. 

If the human brain is an amazing thing, the Mom brain is truly a wonder. I mean, yes, sometimes I’m kind of a mess. Maybe sometimes you feel like a mess. But think of what you’ve done, Mama. You created a life and are still living an amazing one yourself. You’re shaping and guiding another human being while being YOU and all of the wonderfulness that entails. There’s still time to finish that story, and you can always go back and get your wallet.