For some reason, more people have been asking me why I’m doing this lately, this running and blog-writing and posting business. Maybe they’re asking because they think I’m a little nuts. Maybe they’re asking because they think my posts about running are getting to be a bit much, like enough already, but they don’t know how to say it. OR maybe they’re asking because they’re looking for their own motivations. If you’re in the last category, maybe this post will help you:

Here’s why I’m doing this. I have a few reasons. 

First, I really like it. I feel good when I’m in shape. I mostly enjoy the act of running and feeling my body do athletic things that require strength. I’ve been a little injured lately, and the main thing I miss is feeling like I’m moving quickly through space and getting into the zone. I’m constantly pulled back to earth because my stupid foot hurts, and I can’t just let my mind wander around. That is a really great feeling, a reason to run all by itself.

Another reason (and it’s not a great one, but this is reality): I love food that is terrible for me, mainly things that have a lot of sugar, like chocolate and ice cream, so I manage my weight by exercising. Do I need to grow up and learn how to manage my weight by limiting my intake of sweets? Yes, absolutely. Someday, I won’t be able to do workouts that burn 700 calories at once. For now, I can, so I do. I also acknowledge that I would be (and would’ve been back then) a MUCH better athlete if I was more careful about what I ate. For a long time, or perhaps this is still the case in my subconscious, food was separated into only 2 categories: fuel and reward. I can eat the same meal everyday for a week and not think twice about it. If I wasn’t married and taking care of children, I would probably eat deconstructed parts of meals, like store-bought rotisserie chicken with uncooked vegetables and fruit. Or I would make pasta and eat some spinach and yogurt or something. And then I would fulfill the rest of my calorie intake allowance (and then some) with M&Ms. Because I fuel for the workouts, so who cares what it tastes like, and then have candy because I did such a great job. Or whatever. You get the idea. Let’s all learn from my mistakes.

Here it is though: the deepest reason, the real deep-in-the-gut-and-heart WHY is so that my sons see me from their earliest memories as an athlete. Then the hope is not that they see their mom as exceptional, but that they see ALL women as strong athletes. I don’t know how to say it more clearly than that. I don’t think the moms of my mom’s generation did anything wrong in raising their sons. I think the fact that so many men my age are open to the ideas of feminism is a testament to the amazing moms of that generation. I do think that moms in my mom’s generation had fewer opportunities to play sports in school though, that it wasn’t viewed as important for women to feel physically strong. There’s been a lot more talk recently about women taking up more space. Up until not long ago, the main messaging coming at us was to make ourselves smaller in every possible way – be quiet and diet.

I want my boys to grow up seeing me take my space, dance my dance, speak my mind, run my race. When they look for a partner or interact with women at school and work or interact with women while buying their groceries someday in the future, hopefully somewhere in their subconscious, it’ll click that those women deserve their respect and can share their space.