Yeah, this is really hard. I thought about talking about this one with the “How to: Come Back from an Injury” post, but it’s so different. Also, your body has been through trauma. Calling it an injury doesn’t seem to do it justice. 

As with the “Coming Back from Injury” post, I want to be careful to remind that I am not a health professional and that this is based on my experiences. That last part is ESPECIALLY important because everyone’s experience with childbirth is so different. As terrible as my birth stories seemed to me at the time, they were both relatively easy on the spectrum, which is crazy to me because it was really painful and involved the healing of many stitches. Like MANY stitches. It’s such a huge reminder about how tough women are and how tough we’re expected to be. Babies emerge from our bodies after giving of ourselves to them for 40 weeks, and we immediately feel pressure to bounce back from it. 

So first thing on this how-to guide: you will not get your old body back. You will never again return to the person you were before you had a child. I do not at all mean this as a negative. Your body did something absolutely amazing, and the mental and physical toughness required to do that amazing thing means that you can do anything you want. This is your starting point. You might feel like you’re starting from square one, but with this focus, with this perspective, you might find it a little less daunting to move forward. 

Next item: make sure you are ready mentally and emotionally. It is ok if you are not ready. Should I say it again? IT IS OK IF YOU ARE NOT READY. You will get back in shape. You will sleep a full night again eventually. You will someday feel like yourself again. It takes time, and loving yourself for where you are is step 1. 

Following that, a more practical task: consistency is key. I have found that it takes my body about 2 weeks to get used to something new. Maybe you start with walking. Maybe you walk 15 minutes a day at first. Or maybe you do yoga instead of walking – just something to get moving. Yoga is also great because it encourages strengthening the pelvic floor, a part of the body that’s easily overlooked and has recently, in your life, been stretched or even damaged. Building these muscles is imperative if you ever want to be able to run without feeling like your uterus is going to fall out of your body. I remember after our older one was born, I tried to go for a jog the very day I was cleared by the doctor at my 6-week appointment. It was … discouraging. I definitely needed to be wearing 2 sports bras, something I had never before experienced, and I didn’t know anything about strengthening my pelvic floor, so I definitely felt the uterus-falling-out-of-my-body feeling. 

Part of consistency is trying to keep the long perspective in mind and not ramp up in mileage or intensity too quickly. Here’s where coming back after injury can come into play. Your body is in the healing process, so follow your instinct to be gentle with yourself. Plus, there are all kinds of other frustrations involved, like the fact that you’re potentially planning around breastfeeding and a baby’s nap schedule now, that your time and body may still not feel like they belong to you. Running for long stretches might take time, but try running for 2 minutes and walking for 5, then repeating that cycle 3 times. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it adds up. Do that for a week, then run for 3 minutes at a time, then up to 4 minutes at a time, then 5 minutes, and so on. You might do this twice a week at first. Supplement with yoga, a modified body weight circuit, walking with no running, swimming, or other fun, low-impact exercise. 

From that point, find community and listen to your body to guide your mileage and intensity. Let yourself also be guided by the health of your body, not its appearance. You are stronger now than you’ve ever been, even if you feel physically and spiritually drained. I know this is hard. It’s ok that it’s hard. You can do hard things.