I am friendly. Maybe aggressively so, if that’s possible. I say hi to anyone who makes eye contact with me, and sometimes, I say hi to people who don’t, just to see if they will say hi back. Usually this is in the context of a run or walk on the paths near my house, so these people are ostensibly my neighbors. 

I’m not trying to be malicious. It’s more like a game. Sometimes, people light up and smile and say hi! Some people seem taken by surprise, but they nod or say hi or some other greeting. Other times they don’t respond at all, which I think is so weird. I figure that if I’m within a few feet another human being (and they are, therefore, within a few feet of me), our relative spatial closeness should be acknowledged. I’m not asking for a conversation, just some acknowledgment of my existence. So even in normal times, I’m a persistent eye-contact-with-a-Hi person. 

Enter Coronavirus. Social distancing is important, but it’s also slowly driving me insane (along with lots of people – I know I’m not alone in this). I say hi to people on the paths, carefully stepping off the path to maintain 6 feet of distance between us as we pass. I also wave at people on the paths on the other side of the street now. My “Hi” radius has expanded to like 50 feet. I think others are feeling this because most people wave back. 

However, there are people who avoid eye contact so obviously that it seems like they expect to be infected with the virus by looking at another person. Why? In this time of the most extreme (though necessary) social isolation we could possibly have since the invention of suburban neighborhoods, why would a person choose to further isolate themselves from the tiniest of human interaction? 

I just thought of this right now, but maybe it’s me. Maybe they are cool with saying hi to other people but just don’t want to say hi to me. Ok, that would be fine and less confusing. Perhaps my friendliness is off-putting to some people. I’m not going to follow them around to see if they say hi to other people, so I probably can’t find out if that’s the reason. 

What I suspect, though, is that some of these people are hurting and struggling. They want to get outside for fresh air and escape whatever is going on at home, but seeing other people isn’t bringing ease to their pain. It’s reminding them that they’re not able to be around the people they want to be around. Or seeing someone running feels like an indictment on them somehow. Or they actually are afraid of other people at the moment and are in a high-risk group. I can’t believe that these people are generally unpleasant in all circumstances, even though that’s a tempting line of thought. 

I just think people need kindness right now – and always. I try to share this kindness by smiling and saying hi. It might not make a big difference to people. Selfishly, maybe I just do it because it makes me feel good. But I am going to try to make a mental shift by not judging others who don’t want my kindness. I don’t know what they’re going through. I don’t know what they’re going home to (or escaping by going for a walk). Our interaction lasts less than a second in most cases, so maybe it just doesn’t matter that much to them. I’m going to keep doing my thing though. Maybe next time I see them, they’ll be more receptive.